you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
