Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
