is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
