Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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