New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
