He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
