Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There's always time for handjobs
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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