hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
