so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I am mentally ready for anal.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
