I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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