we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
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