Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
