you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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