do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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