I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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