four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
