You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
