You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
