There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
