Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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