ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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