I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i need some magic done to my vagina
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
