I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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