went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
