Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i think my cat just said my name.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
