everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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