i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
