I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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