When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
