i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
