Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
