is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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