Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
