hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
