Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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