Christians are straight up FREAKS
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
