o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
