someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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