so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize