Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
