you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
