My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
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