just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
