Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
