I CAN MOONWALK!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
