he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
