I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Terrible idea I love it
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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