I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
