Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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