So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
